Open Relationships and Polyamory: How To Love Without Limits

More and more of us are choosing to have open relationships and engage in polyamorous relationships - but what does it really mean for us? Learning to navigate insecurities, become better communicators, setting healthy boundaries and protecting our sexual health are all important skills that we develop in a polyamorous relationship.

With all this in mind, find out more about engaging in polyamory and how to really love without limits. 

What is polyamory?

Polyamory is where you enjoy multiple romantic or intimate relationships at the same time, with consent of everyone involved. Unlike cheating or secret affairs, a polyamorous relationship is based on honesty, openness and respect. The word comes from ‘poly’ (meaning many) and amor (meaning love) - so it literally translates to ‘many loves’.  

Not everyone resonates with the traditional model of relationships, so those that have more open relationships tend to have;

- More than one romantic partner.

- Form long-term loving relationships with more than one person.

- Value emotional connection, not just sexual freedom.

- Create relationships that fit their desires and needs, rather than following traditional monogamy.  

Types of polyamory relationships

Every polyamorous relationship looks different. Some people may have one main, or primary, partner and other secondary partners, while others may avoid hierarchy altogether and treat all relationships equally. Let’s explore a few key types of polyamory;

Hierarchical polyamory

In a hierarchical polyamorous relationship, partners are given different levels of importance or priority. 

• Primary partner: Often the person we live with, share finances with or form long-term plans with. 

• Secondary partner: An important part of the relationship, but less entangled in day-to-day life and life decisions.

• Tertiary partners: More casual or less emotionally involved.

Non-Hierarchical polyamory

In a non-hierarchical polyamorous relationship, there is no hierarchy system between partners. Everyone is considered equally important, even if the relationships differ in style or intensity.

Solo polyamory

Solo polyamorous people love their independence and may not desire to merge lives with their partners. They may have multiple loving open relationships while prioritising their autonomy and freedom. 

Triads (Throuples)

A triad relationship is a polyamorous relationship where all three people are romantically or sexually involved with one another. 

• Closed triad: No one dates outside of the triad.

• Open triad: They may have additional partners.

Quads

A quad is a four-person polyamorous relationship. This could be two couples dating each other, or four people in various relationships.

V (or Vee) Relationships

One person, sometimes known as the ‘hinge’ has two partners who are not romantically involved with each other.

Why do people choose polyamorous relationships?

People choose polyamorous relationships for all different kinds of reasons, but most of them come down to one simple idea - it just feels right for them. Some people feel more aligned with their identity when not confined by a monogamous relationship. For them, loving more than one person at a time isn’t confusing or wrong - it feels natural. 

Polyamory allows people to explore different types of emotional and romantic connections, and reduces the pressure of one partner having to fulfil every need. One partner might be your best friend, another a lover, one might be more emotionally supportive while another might be passionate about similar hobbies. It’s a way of being able to love in a way that feels more authentic to them. It gives people the chance to explore different kinds of love and connections. 

Polyamory or open relationships are built on important values like honesty, communication, trust and boundaries. You have to be open with your feelings and respectful of how others might feel. This kind of deep emotional work can help people grow and build healthier connections. 

Learning to navigate insecurities

Insecurities can show up for all of us - no matter how confident or secure we might feel. Some people might try to hide their insecurities from their partner by withdrawing or making sarcastic comments when they feel triggered, while others feel safe enough to share their insecurities and receive support from their partner. In a polyamorous relationship, where your partner might also be connecting with others, insecurities can sometimes feel more intense. Polyamory gives you the opportunity to face your insecurities in a safe environment. It encourages self-reflection and honest conversations about your fears, triggers and emotional needs. Instead of hiding from jealousy or comparing yourself to others, you learn to face those emotions with curiosity and compassion, understand where those feelings come from and how they can be managed with love, empathy and care - for yourself and by your partners. 

Becoming better communicators

Polyamory thrives on strong, open communication. When there are more people involved, it’s important to be clear about your needs, listen carefully and have regular check-ins with your partners. This might mean talking about how you’re feeling, sharing your plans or making sure everyone is on the same page. Learning to talk openly helps things run smoothly and keeps everyone feeling respected, loved and cared for. Many people in polyamorous relationships say they’ve become better at being honest, kind, and understanding - not just in love, but in all parts of their life.

Setting healthy boundaries

Boundaries are not about controlling others - they're about protecting your own well-being. In polyamorous relationships, setting and respecting boundaries is really important. This might mean agreeing on how much you talk about other relationships, deciding what kinds of connections are ok and what’s not, how you manage communication outside of the relationship like text message, whether you check in with each other weekly to see how you’re feeling or just carving out alone time when needed. Clear boundaries help everyone feel safe, respected, and clear on where they stand. When boundaries are handled with care, they actually bring people closer, because everyone feels more secure and valued.

Protecting sexual health

When you have more than one partner, sexual health becomes even more important. In polyamory, using condoms and getting tested regularly are important parts of maintaining good sexual health. It’s also important to have open, honest conversations about STI testing, protection, such as condoms and what level of risks everyone is comfortable with. This kind of honesty helps everyone stay sexually safe. Rather than being awkward or uncomfortable, they’re seen as a sign of respect and love - because protecting your sexual health and your partner's sexual health is just another way of saying ‘I care about you’. 

To protect your sexual health, click here to discover our entire range of condoms.