4 Ways to Increase Body Confidence In The Bedroom

For many of us, body confidence is still a work in progress. In a 2019 YouGov study involving 4,505 UK adults and 1,118 teenagers, 20% said they had felt ashamed of their body image in the past year, 19% reported feeling disgusted, and 34% said their body image had made them feel down. These staggering statistics highlight just how much body confidence affects us all.

Having low body confidence means we learn to hide our flaws - whether that’s adjusting our angles for photos, dimming the lights or covering up certain parts of our body that we’re trying to hide. Body image can therefore affect our intimacy in the bedroom. How we feel about our bodies can impact on having a healthy, safe and pleasurable sex life. Real body confidence is not about looking like a magazine cover, it’s about being confident in our own skin - owning our flaws and those parts of us that make us unique. 

Here are 4 ways to increase body confidence in the bedroom…

1. Start with Self-Talk

Body confidence in the bedroom begins with self-talk. Is there a critical voice inside your head that constantly makes remarks about your stomach, thighs, stretch marks or imperfections? If so, it’s no wonder you struggle with body confidence when the clothes come off.

The first step is to begin to pay attention to that voice. We all have hang-ups about our bodies, but learning to accept these parts of ourselves can make such a difference in the way we show up in our sex-life. When you notice you are being self-critical - interrupt this pattern. Teach yourself to pause and replace that negative thought with a calming affirmation like; ‘I love my body. My partner loves my body’ - this will remind you to stay in the present moment and begin to start to soften the self-judgement. 

Having confidence in the bedroom can help us to feel more relaxed, free and able to fully enjoy intimacy without worrying about body image. And honestly - your partner isn’t noticing every flaw that you do. They’re not zooming in on all your imperfections. They’re drawn to your presence, your energy, your authenticity and the connection you have together.

2. Communicate your insecurities

Increasing body confidence doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Communicating openly with your partner about your lack of body confidence in the bedroom can bring you both closer together and deepen your connection. Vulnerability creates intimacy. Let your partner know that you’re feeling a little insecure about your body, and you might be surprised to learn that they have their own insecurities too. You can reassure one another, allowing you both to feel more seen, accepted and connected. Knowing someone is supporting your insecurities can help you relax while in the moment, leading to a more pleasurable sex-life. 

You can use phrases such as;

“I’m feeling a little insecure tonight - can we take things slow?”

“I’m worried about showing you my body” 

A caring partner will want you to feel good. Don’t be afraid to ask for reassurance or support to help you feel more comfortable. The more you communicate, the more confident you’ll begin to feel with your body image and the closer and more intimate you’ll feel together. 

3. Practice self-pleasure

There’s no better way than to practice body confidence in the bedroom than to explore your own body - without pressure, performance or judgement. Taking time for solo-sex allows you to pay attention to what rhythm, pressure or sensations gives you the most pleasure. By exploring your body and learning more about your desires, you will start to appreciate it for more than how it looks, but how it feels, moves and the pleasure it can give you. Self-pleasure is also a relaxing way to unwind and release tension - leaving you feeling more grounded and in tune with yourself as you go about your day. 

As you become familiar with what feels good, it can shift your focus from how your body looks, to the pleasure it can give you. Not only will it increase your body confidence but it will also help increase intimacy with your partner as you learn to communicate about what you enjoy, what you like and what you need. That kind of honesty not only makes your sex life more pleasurable but it is also emotionally fulfilling too.  

4. Focus on sexual pleasure 

Focus on sexual pleasure. It might sound simple but it can be easy to let our body image get in the way of our intimate moments. When you focus your attention from how you look to how you feel, everything changes. Allow yourself to get lost in the moment; the sensual touching, the passionate kisses, the way your body responds with desire. When you focus on pleasure, you naturally start to increase your body confidence in the bedroom. 

Using different condoms can also enhance your sexual experience. Depending on your sexual preference, you might like our ribbed and dotted for extra stimulation or Feel condoms for heightened sensitivity. If you’re feeling playful, explore flavoured condoms or add one of our flavoured lubricants to bring something new to your intimate moments. Play around with different sensations and let pleasure take the lead while your body confidence worries fade in the background.