What is anal sex?

Anal sex is any sexual activity that includes the anus. This could include penetrating the anus with a penis, finger or sex toy, stimulating the prostate  gland as well as licking around the anus (rimming). Anal sex can be an intimate, stimulating and pleasurable experience for both partners as the anus is rich with highly sensitive nerve endings. For some people, it can take a while to get used to the sensations of anal sex and for others, it feels comfortable and enjoyable right from the go.

With this in mind, here’s everything you need to know about anal sex, from how to have anal sex, how to stimulate a prostate gland, how to make anal sex an enjoyable experience, rimming and how to protect yourself from catching a sexually transmitted infection.

How do I have anal sex?

First off, communication is extremely important when having anal sex, so make sure you have had a conversation with your partner beforehand and you are both happy to try any form of anal sex or anal play. 

If you decide to have penetrative anal sex or want to stimulate the prostate  gland, remember to go slow and don’t rush into anything. Most people prefer to have a shower beforehand. 

There’s a muscle in your anus, known as the sphincter, that needs to be relaxed to make anal sex more comfortable. Therefore, if one of you is tense, it may not feel as enjoyable. 

Once you decide to have anal sex, grab your chosen lubricant and gently add it to your partner's anus and the surrounding area. 

Slowly and gently penetrate your partners anus a little bit with either a penis, finger or a sex toy and then pull out completely. 

Ask your partner if they are happy to continue and if they are, slowly penetrate again - be prepared to stop at any time if they find it uncomfortable or are in pain. 

Keep this rhythm going until you are at a rhythm you are both happy with. 

How do I stimulate the prostate gland?

The prostate is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid that is found in ejaculation. The prostate is located about two inches inside the anus, between the rectum and the penis, and can be stimulated by a sex toy or even a finger. The prostate has many nerve endings and these can feel good when stimulated. This area is very sensitive and can be bruised easily if handled too roughly, so the prostate needs to be treated gently and with lots of lubricant. 

Rimming 

Annulingus, also known as rimming, can be an enjoyable and pleasurable experience for many. Rimming involves using your tongue and lips to stimulate the anus.

• With your partner on all fours, crouch behind them and start softly kissing and touching the area around the anus.
• Open your partner's buttocks and gently circle your tongue around the area. If things get a little friskier, you could slowly insert your tongue.
• Your partner will help guide you on what feels good, whether that’s licking, sucking or gently probing. 

Is anal sex painful?

For many people, anal sex can be a highly pleasurable part of a healthy sex life. If it’s your first time having anal sex, then the sensation might feel a little odd or uncomfortable. Be prepared to go slow and make each other feel comfortable during the activity - using lots of lubricant to reduce any pain. You can start off with fingers or a small sex toy before using a penis or larger sex toy.

If you or your partner feel any pain or it feels uncomfortable, be prepared to stop immediately. You can always try again another day, if it’s something you both want to do. 

How to protect myself from sexually transmitted infections? 

Condoms reduce the risk of catching sexually transmitted infections by preventing any sexual fluids from being transferred. By using a condom (or dam) every time you have vaginal, anal or oral sex reduces the risk of contracting an STI. We have a wide variety of condoms available from regular, king, super king or trim as well as flavoured and fun condoms so there’s plenty of variety available. Unsure which condom to choose? Open this link 'in a new window' here ‘What type of condom should I buy?’

As well as ensuring you or your partner wear condoms, getting a sexual health screen on a regular basis (we recommend annually or on change of a sexual partner) will help reduce the risk of catching and passing the infection on.